A life lived without comparison is one of the most essential elements of self-confident person.

Comparison is the act of seeking similarities and differences with those around us. This does not seem like a big deal. You’re just looking for similarities and differences with the people around you. Why is this so terrible?

When we compare ourselves with others, we usually divide it into one of the three labels:

1. the same as me,

2. better than me,

3. worse than me.

Let’s take an example. We have John. John has 30 years and a problem – constant comparison with the people around him.

Let’s see the day in John’s life. He came to work and found out that his co-worker made the biggest sale in the company’s history.

John compare himself with the co-worker. John has not made the biggest sale. Co-worker is. So John thinks, “That person is better than me.”

Then, John came back from work, kissed his wife and learned that his neighbor bought a new sports car. Again, John compares himself. If his neighbors have a sports car, and John does not, then the neighbor is better than him.

In the end, John discovers that his childhood friend got 10,000 dollars on the lottery. Again, John compares himself with his friend from childhood. “He won, I did not, he’s better.”

But what happened?

John has bound his value with the value of an object. If anyone has this object and John not, John is losing value compared to that person.

But take a look at the misery that John has unnecessarily caused to himself. He literally lost time on a negative emotional reaction. This reaction was the result of comparison.

Can you see what’s wrong with this?

Did John get something useful? Does he raise the chances to win the lottery, be the best seller, or buy a sports car?

He practically did not leave his comfort zone. He did nothing! He’s just cause negative emotional reactions, upset himself, lost time and health to stress and did not get anything in return.

Do you see the results of comparisons with others? Do you want that in your life?

Do something today!

I have a task for you that will help you to remove the habit of comparing. In this way, you’ll have much happier (and productive) life.

The General Principles of This Task

If you understand the essence of this task, you will be able to resolve it more successful. So I will first explain the essence of the task, so you can understand how it works.

This task involves a five-step process:

1. Find and Understand comparison.

You must pay attention to your comparisons. A lot of people do not even notice them. You must understand the comparison, to noticed it.

2. Focus and remember comparison.

Focus on one of your comparisons, pay attention and remember it.

3. Let the time pass.

4. Remove comparison.

If the first two are well-made then this is not a problem. Remove any comparison.

5. Switch focus.

Change the mud into gold. Concentrate on what you want to do, and realize that others are not your enemies.

In my opinion, the main problem is a huge misunderstanding of how much the comparison is actually hidden in our daily life. Once you discover it, and pay enough attention to it, you will easily stop the unnecessary comparison.

Basic Guidelines for Task

What should be done. Precisely.

• Get a single sheet of paper or text editor, and next time you notice that you’re comparing yourself negatively to someone, record that. But do not record every time you compare. Only once at the time.
• Think a little about what you write. Write it again. And again if you think it will help you to concentrate.
• Let the time pass. A couple of hours or minutes from the moment of comparison, as much as you need to calm down a bit.
• Try to think about what you have achieved with comparison. Do not use labels like “that stupid comparison.” Just watch. Accept that you are not perfect, just watch the of that particular comparison. What are outcomes and effects of the comparison? Stress? Negativity? Achievement?
• Now that you know how much comparison hurt, go a step further. Look at something old in a new way. How? By placing a simple question - “What positive can I get from this?”

Practical example

Let’s say this. Your neighbor-friend-boss bought a new car. You drive the old one. You compare yourself with that person.

And then:

1. You take a piece of paper and you record all the details of how you compare yourself with that person. You record the characteristics of the two cars, and how you connect your personality with the comparison. That is, “that person is a better and more valuable than me (you) because he has a new car.”

2. You think about it. Re-write it a couple of times. Focus on it.

3. Let the time pass until you calm down. Let’s say you needed two hours.
4. You think and / or write – “what I have achieved with the comparison? What is the outcome of the comparison?” At this moment, not tomorrow. Is the outcome (of the comparisons) achieving something? Or the outcome is some kind of emotional feeling? Consider what you get – the negative feelings. Stress. Jealousy. Poor relations with that particular person…

5. Ask – “What positive can I get from this experience?” In this case, let’s say that you have learned that value the person can not connect to the value of the car. You learn that you are not your car. That does not make sense to give the car labeled “my”. The car is a car. Car does not show that you are a “better” or “worse”. Car do not determine your value. Everyone has tremendous value and potential.

Anyone can draw a different message depending on the person’s beliefs. And of course, there is no problem that can be solved in only one way. If this fails, find some your way to solve  problem of comparison. Grow man!

Now that you have read this article, I want to thank you.  I hope that you will have success with this method and you will change the course of your life. Good luck!

[* Note: If you want more information, Sandra Hendricks from Give & Get posted a great article about the comparison -- More Tips and Information on Comparison, I recommend you read her article. ]

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